Abandoned, again.

They Are Gone.

Mom and Da.
What did I Do Wrong?

Mom just got off the plane and then Left Again.

They are in France. I think dogs are Allowed to eat in Restaurants in France. Is this True?



But Dave-O is here, and I like him a lot. He works at Starbucks and takes me there. He says I am Becoming a Real Dog. (This means no Biting, Growling, or Eating Bad Things.

He Knows about Gravy because Mom told him Not to Forget.

It has been so long that I have a Very Important Story to tell:

Ophelia is GONE.

She went home to South Dakota with Chadster and the Kennenator. She got to Ride in the Car all the way. They took all her toys (except the Snuffleupagus, I Hid it.)

Mom and Da gave her a kennel so that she can have a Place to Life in South Dakota.

So Life is Very Quiet now. Just me and Dave-O. We watch TV together on the couch and I get Lots of Exercise on the walks to Starbucks. We Party with the Crazy People at the Coffee Shop (they Hang Out There.)

It's good to Talk to you again.

PS I wasn't Spozed to go to I Can Has Cheezburger, but I did anyway.

Is that So Wrong??

Gravy in Heaven

I just found out that Cub has gone to Heaven. I will miss him so. I wrote this poem for him.

There is Gravy in Heaven for Cub today
His suffering is over, his pain is all gone,
But the Lonely Place on the Sofa,
The Empty Bowl in the Kitchen,
the Sadness humans feel for dogs,
Weighs on their hearts like a Lead Blanket.
The Noble Brotherhood of Dogs
joins in mourning our fallen friend
But we know, we know, we who dwell
Only for a Short Time here on earth
The Joys that wait for us above

Dear Typist, and Alpha, and Boy,
You made Cub's life a Dog's Delight
We Love you all. God's Comfort come
and help to fill the loss you feel
But soon we all will Meet again
United at the Rainbow Bridge
No sadness, sorrow anymore
And there will be Rejoicing Much
And Gravy, surely, evermore
For all of us in Heaven

Ophelia is Still Here.

I wonder why. They keep talking about Putting Her in the Microwave but it Never Happens. Da calls her "Oliver" instead of "Ophelia". That is funny.

Someone bought her a Hideous Squeaky Ball and she makes it squeak ALL DAY LONG! It is torture. So I steal it and sit on it so she can't have it. Is that So Wrong?

She also has a Homunculous. This is it here. It used to squeak too but I fixed that when she wasn't looking. (Is that so wrong??)

This is me Not Sharing the Warm Laundry. Is that So Wrong?

Here I am trying to shove her into the Construction Site so that the Men With Trucks can Run Over Her. (Is that So Wrong?)

We go on Long Walks on Saturdays. This is the Best Time of All!





In spite of all her faults, I think she is kind of growing on me, though. (Is that so Wrong??)

moar funny pictures

Grendel wishes you all a very holy Holy Week!

He is engaged in contemplation of goodness and Gravy.

My Middle Name

Dogblogger tagged me for a meme that uses your middle name.

My Middle Name is Wimsey. After Lord Peter Wimsey.

Here are the rules:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.

2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

W is 'cause I'm Whimsical. That's why I write Poetry.

I is for Idiosyncratic. That means I March to a Different Drummer.

M is for (what else?) Misanthropic. But I am Trying.

S is for Snouterrific! Yay, Grendel!!!

E is for Eclectic. That means Donuts! Oh, wait, that's Eclairs. No, Expressive! I am I am I AM!!!!!

Y is for Yearning. I yearn for Gravy! And Love!

I tag Doxy Dear, FranIam, Diane, BlackStar, and Padre Mickey for this meme. Yay, Dogs!!! Yay, Gravy!

Ophelia's Story

Da is out working on the car and mom is doing Altar Guild for the special service tonight and they left me alone with the RatDog.

We are Having a Conversation.

We are Getting to Know One Another.

Here is Ophelia's Story:

Her family thought she was Too Noisy and Needy And so they just Dumped her at the university. She thought that she must have been Very Bad. They did not have Patience for the yipping.

She ran around the campus Scared and Lonely and Cold on Thursday night until a student took her in and let her Spend the Night in the Dorm. (Shhhh!!! Don't Tell. It's Illegal.) They gave her a peanut butter sandwich, but then they had to Go To Class (That's what Students do...most of the the time.) So they let her go. Then the Nice Woman Named Kathy found her. But what to do? Put her in a professor's office!! And so Ophelia came to my mom's office. She got to eat mom's sandwich, too.

She got her name because they are Reading Hamlet in Mom's class right now. (A Hamlet is a great kind of food with both ham and eggs in it.) There is a girl in the story of Hamlet whose name is Ophelia. The name Ophelia is short for "Opheelforia." It means "Empathetic". I have heard people say this before, like when Mom says "Good Grief! I have 50 Blue Books to correct by tomorrow" and Da says, "Ah, sure! Opheelforia!"

It is a good name for this dog because she is very Empathetic. Last Night when I Got Yelled at for Getting Too Close to the Litter Box, Ophelia came up to me and gave me a Snoutal Nudge (this means, "It's ok, don't Worry about it") and I Felt Better. Maybe I was wrong to be upset about her coming here. She can't help being a Yippy RatDog, and Getting Dumped. I felt Empathetic for her. I even gave her some of my Gravy.

The Future is still Very Uncertain for this RatDog. Mom says she can stay for a While until the Discernment process is over. I don't Know what that means. All I know is that we dogs have to Stick Together and Try to Get Along, even if it is Very Hard. In spite of All our Differences. Maybe you Humans can Try It Too.

I'm just saying.