Thursday, December 27, 2007

I have been Blessed!

My very good friend Scout has given me a Blessing! And so I pass it on...



Here is the story of the Blessing:

"The idea… it’s a game of tag with a difference, rather than looking inwardly, we look outside ourselves and bless, praise and pray for one blog friend. By participating in this endeavour we not only make the recipient of the blessing feel valued and appreciated, but we are having some fun too. We’re going to see how far the bloggin’ blessings can travel around the world and how many people can be blessed! Recipients of a bloggin’ blessing may upload the above image to their sidebar if they choose to. If you receive a bloggin’ blessin’ please leave a comment on this thread here so that we can rejoice in just how many blessings have been sent around the world!"

Scout blessed me, and now I want to pass the blessing on to three people:

To Doxy Dear,
I bless you.
May God smile upon you and take away all stress and strain. May he give you the Joy that you give others, tenfold. And may the Cosmic Woof of Love resonate in your heart Forever.

To Alcibiades,
I bless you. May God give you the Peace that Passes all Understanding. May he still all the Voices that may trouble you. May you continue to prove a Bold Witness through your Eloquence.

To MadPriest,
I bless you. You always say what you Think is Right. You give Dogs and Dog Acceptors a Place to Go. St. Laika is helping to Prepare a Place for you in Heaven...but not for a Long Long time.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Scout has a new blog!!!

It is Snouterrific! Go see it now. I Mean It. Right Now. Here is the link.

Peace out, Scout!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

A Haiku

Rain falls like Gravy
Gravy that falls in My Plate
God is very Good.

Merry Christmas

Doxy, these pictures are for you!

Can you see the same deeply embarrassed look in both these photos? Merry Christmas anyway!

Monday, December 24, 2007

I am ABANDONED! (well, sort of)

I knew something was up when Dan the Man comes by. He only comes by when mom and dad are Going Away. [Once I went to Dan the Man's House and he had a RatDog named Kookoori or some such tripe. It was fun to stay there, but I was very glad when mom came back.]

But then Dan the Man went away and I thought it was going to be OK.

Then Mom and I went out the Back Door. This is unusual and often means A RIDE!

At the end of the ride we were at Dan the Man's House! And we went in the House! Oh, no. This is Not Optimal.

And now they had more than one RatDog!! There were TWO RatDogs and one Normal Dog. The RatDogs had clothes on, which is Not Normal For A Dog.

Mom brought all my stuff into the house, including my kennel and the Gravy Bottles. Uh-oh. I know what this means. She was going to Abandon Me. And So She Did.

I was not so sure how Things Would Go. It was Exciting to see the RatDogs and the Normal Dog, but did Dan the Man understand about The Gravy? And would mom come back ever?

Well, now it's Christmas Eve, and I miss mom and dad. But I have been getting Gravy. And it is fun to be with the other dogs, even though all the dogs have to wear Funny Hats. Here is a picture of one of them: tomorrow I will post another!

I send love to All Dogs and All Dog-Acceptors. Merry Christmas!! May you all have Lots of Gravy!

Friday, December 21, 2007

My Friends Stop By

Hi, Everybody! I Want to Say thanks to all the great Dogs and Dog Acceptors who are Stopping By. I send you all the Cosmic Woof of Love!

I am glad you came by.

Diane, why did Scout eat the soap? Was he trying to clean up his act? If he let a Stinkie after he ate the soap, would it come out as a Soap Bubble? I want to Know.

My mom also has Intense Feelings about Food because she was very poor when she was little and had to eat Horrible Things.

Just Do It. Don't wait for your mom to do the blog. Don't let the Lack of 'Posables stop you! You have Good Things to Say.

Doxy Dear,
Life with you and Jasper must be Snouterrific! Joy, Love, Parties, Juju, Marley, Ivy, and Visits! Can I come visit? I'll be Good, I Promise. No Growlies. I'll Party with the Other Animals.

I am Afraid to Ask, but What Happened to Zorra? Do you do the Protectioning now that she is gone? Why don't you have your Own Blog? I will go visit you over there.


Thank you for telling me about FrostyPaws. I have asked Santa to Bring Me you like it?

And now my questions for you (for both Dogs and Dog Acceptors):

1. What do you want the most for Christmas?

2. What is your New Year's Resolution?

Peace out, Scout!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Doxy

My Doxy's very Busy.
She's Got No Time to read
Got Better Things to do
And so she's going to Stop

I guess that it's ok
But I will Miss Her So
She's really Awful Nice
and Easy on the Eyes.

I don't know What to Do
I have to Let It Out
I may just have to Bite
the mailman when he comes

And it will be your fault.

A Koan

Is Frozen Gravy Ice Cream?
Or is Ice Cream Frozen Gravy?

Friday, December 14, 2007

I just couldn't help MysElf.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Friday, December 7, 2007

My New Friend, BlackStar

This is my New Friend, BlackStar. He is a Hero Dog. He does Protectioning and just had a Very Scary Incident. You can read about it here.

What I like Most about him is that he is a Very Special Kind of Dog: A Nova Scotia Seal-Dog. I don't remember seeing that kind on the chart in Doctor Shabazzman's office, but that just means it's Very Rare. And he's awful Shiny. They must give him Lots of Gravy.

You can see in this picture how Seal-like in Form and Function he is:

I bet he can be very Wiggly.

Bitumen Puppy

Mom says I am a "Bitumen Puppy." I don't know what "Bitumen" means, but she says it has something to do with the Growling. And the Snarling. I got Really Mad the other night because they tried to make me Get Off The Bed. I didn't want to Get Off The Bed. I wanted to stay and Throw Up on the bed. Is that So Wrong?

It's Simple: Just let me DO What I Want and nobody Gets Hurt.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

I Get Interviewed by Rowan!!!!!!

I Got Confused (Mom says Greedy) and asked Rowan to Interview me Too. I hope that is Ok--if not, I am Very Sorry, but I really like his Questions too!!!!! So here I go:

Dear Poet Lauret Grendel,

I am so happy that you want to be interviewed by me. I have tried my best to think up some real good questions for you. Here they are:

Misanthropic is a really big word. I had to ask my guardian what it means. This is a two parter: 1) How did you learn such a big human word and 2) how come you don't like the humans?

Mom told me about the word. She Knows Greek. When they first got me I Growled All The Time. And Snarled. It was because I was Mistreated by a man with a Motorcycle. And so I did not know what Real Love was, only Mean Love. It is not so Bad now but I will never be Completely OK.

Can you talk more about the Cosmic Woof of Love and the Dance of Happiness? I think I might like to try those out sometime.

The Cosmic Woof of Love is when everything is Okay and you Feel that the Universe is one Big Woof with all Dogs Accepted and Fed. It is Unity with All Dogs and Dog Acceptors.

The Dance of Happiness is when your Rear End just Wiggles with Joy--it Can't Help it!!!!! So Much Happiness that it just can't stay still!

When you are not composing poetry, what's your favorite hobby? (Don't say napping because that, of course, is number one for all us dogs.)

I like to lick my mom's legs. It is weird, I know, but There You Go.

Besides writing poetry, do you have any other jobs?

No, mom says "my function is pretty much Ornamental."

Which is better toys or treats? Explain your answer.

Treats. Cause you can eat them! I don't have much truck with toys.

I love you Grendel and I think you are a real swell dog. Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed by me. I'll be checking by your blog to see your answers.



I love you too Rowan and I am sorry that I Got Greedy,


Peace out, Scout!

I Need Help, I think.

You Are 100% Misanthropic

You are a Misanthropic Dog. All the Gravy In The World will Not Help.
It is a Wonder that your Humans Put Up With You!!!!

My Interview

Maggie sent me questions for the Interview!! I am So Excited!! I am Going to Be Famous!!!
Here they are and What I said About them:

1. How did you come to live with your person?

I was with the Nice Lady at The Farm who accepts dogs with No Families and takes care of them until People Adopt them. We went to PetSmart to Get Adopted and saw mom and dad who were buying cat food. Mom had Cancer and spent most of the weekend In Bed with KeeMo, so they got me to be with Mom In Bed until she Got Better. (She did)

2. What is the best time you ever had?

I went to Phoenix, Arizona (That is in East Fresno) to see my Aunt and Uncle and the Yip Dog. (Her name is Isabella) I got to Play with the Yip Dog. We Broke Down on the way and stayed in the Hotel. Wow it was fun!!!

Mom said we Dropped a Tranny. That was because we drove the GreaseCar and not the Hybrid.

3. If you could meet any famous dog who would it be and why?

Laika, the Brave Brave Dog, and it would be to Rescue her. I would take her home and we would Have Gravy together.

4. What is your favorite treat?

Oh, boy, I love Pizza Crust!! When mom and dad get the BellyBuster Pizza from the Pizza Is Love store, they save the crusts for me (sometimes dad eats them)...and Gravy, but that is not a Treat, that is Crucial.

5. This is my favorite question, I ask it of all my subjects (but I owe it to Tipper who asked me), how do you like to begin and end your day?

I begin my day In Bed Under the Covers by mom's feet. I Think about Things and Make Up Poems. Then dad brings mom Coffee and me Yogurt to eat so I Don't Eat Poop. (It Doesn't Work but I like it). I know it is Time to Go Out when I hear the Dish on the Floor. Then we Go for a Walk.

At Night I am also In Bed while they Read Books. Dad goes to Sleep First then mom. I Think about Things Some More. Then I sleep too. I know I am lucky. God Loves me a lot and I love him. I wish I could be Nicer.

Thank you So Much for interviewing me, Maggie!! It was so much Fun!!! If you are a dog or EVEN a cat, I could interview you, too, 'cause there Are Rules. Let me know.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Dog Prayer

Rowan says:

I start and end my day with prayer. Sometimes I stretch pray, sometimes I run and jump pray, sometimes I snuggle pray. It’s all prayer.

He's right. It's all prayer. My favorite prayer is the Cosmic Woof of Love Prayer. Second is the Happiness Dance Prayer.

I am Traumatized. Again.

Mom says I got Too Fragrant. So I had to Get A Bath. It was Horrible.

First off, I had to wear The Muzzle:Then I Got Drenched:
Then I Got Dried:

Then I got Wrapped in a Blanket warmed in the Dryer:

I Feel Slightly Better Now.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Happy Birthday to Mom!

Tomorrow is my mom's Birthday and so I have saved up all my money to buy her a Present, what I think she will Like Best. And if she doesn't want it I can have it!

(Dad had to help because I don't Have Any Posables)
Here is a Picture of it:
Gravy Is Love.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Laika, the Brave Brave Dog.

Laika was a Brave, Brave Dog.
They sent her into Space.
They didn't want to Bring Her Back
And so they Left her There.

I know that she was Not Alone
That God was Up There With Her
He towed her Spacecraft to his Throne
and now they Sit Together.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

What is a "Gooperson"?

A Gooperson is the opposite of a Baperson.

Gooperson is a special kind of Dog Acceptor.

It is like the first drink of cold water after the long hot walk.

It is like the sound that the doorknob makes when mom walks in from work.

It is like burrowing into the laundry warm from the dryer.

It is the feeling of lying on your back with all four paws in the air, knowing you are safe.

That's "Gooperson".

Catching Up

mom is At School, even though it is Sunday. She is Catching Up. I tried to go in with her once on the Weekend but there are stairs, and I didn't want to go up them. So we went into the Box Room and it went up. I didn't like it. I stay home now.

I hope mom comes home soon. I hope she Catches Up.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Gravy Love: a Poem

Which is better,
Love or Gravy?
It is hard to choose between.

If I had to
Choose between them
I'd take Gravy over Love

Gravy comes
out of the Bottle
and it makes the Food Taste Good

Love is sometimes
not as Easy
Even when you Think you Should

Friday, October 19, 2007

I Go to the Vet (But I am O.K.)

Not to worry, I am OK. But I had to go for a Bunch of Things.

I was very excited yesterday when mom put on the leash and took me out the back door. (That is Unusual. It usually means a ride! Yay!)

At first I think it is Just a Ride in the Car.

But, uh-oh. It's the Vet!!!
Our Vet's name is the Shabazz-Man. He takes care of me and the six cats. Mom and dad go to a different Vet.

I love Cassandra. She helps out the Shabazz-Man. She is always smiling and is a Major Dog Acceptor.

Here is the Shabazz-Man getting ready to stick a Big Needle in me. You can't see my face but I am Scared.

Why is the Shabazz-Man so happy? I am not happy.

Thye have to put the muzzle on me at this point because I Start Misbehaving.

Besides the Shots I also got my drewclaws clipped and Things Looked At and Listened To. That part was Not So Bad. (oh, mom says it is Dew Claws)

The Bad Part is over and now I am waiting for mom to pay and to get Paperwork that says I can go to the Dog Trainer and Doggie DayCare without any problems. Mom says that based on how good I was at the Blessing that it Might Be OK for me to interact more with other dogs. Dad is not so sure. (What does "In a pig's Eye" mean??)

This dog was Next Door to the Vet. Her name is Roxie. She has a Koi Pond. (That means fish.)

Then we went home again.

At the moment, I Feel Traumatized. But now I am Better...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

People Who Accept Dogs

are very good. Lots of people Don't Accept Dogs. My mom says there must be Something Wrong with Those People. I think so too.

I know that Padre Mickey Accepts Dogs. So does Mad Priest, although I am a little scared of him. I think Grandmère Mimi does, too.

And of course, Lindy and Diane. They are Major Dog Acceptors.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Pound: a poem

Ugly Butt-Puppy
in the Pound
Wants his Mother
to Lick Him.

Here I go!

I'm here. Grendel the Dog.

I hope Rowan will interview me. He's great and goes swimming.

I make poems because I have aches inside and the poems help.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hi, I'm Grendel

and this is my blog.