Saturday, November 17, 2007

I Get Interviewed by Rowan!!!!!!

I Got Confused (Mom says Greedy) and asked Rowan to Interview me Too. I hope that is Ok--if not, I am Very Sorry, but I really like his Questions too!!!!! So here I go:

Dear Poet Lauret Grendel,

I am so happy that you want to be interviewed by me. I have tried my best to think up some real good questions for you. Here they are:

Misanthropic is a really big word. I had to ask my guardian what it means. This is a two parter: 1) How did you learn such a big human word and 2) how come you don't like the humans?

Mom told me about the word. She Knows Greek. When they first got me I Growled All The Time. And Snarled. It was because I was Mistreated by a man with a Motorcycle. And so I did not know what Real Love was, only Mean Love. It is not so Bad now but I will never be Completely OK.

Can you talk more about the Cosmic Woof of Love and the Dance of Happiness? I think I might like to try those out sometime.

The Cosmic Woof of Love is when everything is Okay and you Feel that the Universe is one Big Woof with all Dogs Accepted and Fed. It is Unity with All Dogs and Dog Acceptors.

The Dance of Happiness is when your Rear End just Wiggles with Joy--it Can't Help it!!!!! So Much Happiness that it just can't stay still!

When you are not composing poetry, what's your favorite hobby? (Don't say napping because that, of course, is number one for all us dogs.)

I like to lick my mom's legs. It is weird, I know, but There You Go.

Besides writing poetry, do you have any other jobs?

No, mom says "my function is pretty much Ornamental."

Which is better toys or treats? Explain your answer.

Treats. Cause you can eat them! I don't have much truck with toys.

I love you Grendel and I think you are a real swell dog. Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed by me. I'll be checking by your blog to see your answers.



I love you too Rowan and I am sorry that I Got Greedy,


Peace out, Scout!

I Need Help, I think.

You Are 100% Misanthropic

You are a Misanthropic Dog. All the Gravy In The World will Not Help.
It is a Wonder that your Humans Put Up With You!!!!

My Interview

Maggie sent me questions for the Interview!! I am So Excited!! I am Going to Be Famous!!!
Here they are and What I said About them:

1. How did you come to live with your person?

I was with the Nice Lady at The Farm who accepts dogs with No Families and takes care of them until People Adopt them. We went to PetSmart to Get Adopted and saw mom and dad who were buying cat food. Mom had Cancer and spent most of the weekend In Bed with KeeMo, so they got me to be with Mom In Bed until she Got Better. (She did)

2. What is the best time you ever had?

I went to Phoenix, Arizona (That is in East Fresno) to see my Aunt and Uncle and the Yip Dog. (Her name is Isabella) I got to Play with the Yip Dog. We Broke Down on the way and stayed in the Hotel. Wow it was fun!!!

Mom said we Dropped a Tranny. That was because we drove the GreaseCar and not the Hybrid.

3. If you could meet any famous dog who would it be and why?

Laika, the Brave Brave Dog, and it would be to Rescue her. I would take her home and we would Have Gravy together.

4. What is your favorite treat?

Oh, boy, I love Pizza Crust!! When mom and dad get the BellyBuster Pizza from the Pizza Is Love store, they save the crusts for me (sometimes dad eats them)...and Gravy, but that is not a Treat, that is Crucial.

5. This is my favorite question, I ask it of all my subjects (but I owe it to Tipper who asked me), how do you like to begin and end your day?

I begin my day In Bed Under the Covers by mom's feet. I Think about Things and Make Up Poems. Then dad brings mom Coffee and me Yogurt to eat so I Don't Eat Poop. (It Doesn't Work but I like it). I know it is Time to Go Out when I hear the Dish on the Floor. Then we Go for a Walk.

At Night I am also In Bed while they Read Books. Dad goes to Sleep First then mom. I Think about Things Some More. Then I sleep too. I know I am lucky. God Loves me a lot and I love him. I wish I could be Nicer.

Thank you So Much for interviewing me, Maggie!! It was so much Fun!!! If you are a dog or EVEN a cat, I could interview you, too, 'cause there Are Rules. Let me know.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Dog Prayer

Rowan says:

I start and end my day with prayer. Sometimes I stretch pray, sometimes I run and jump pray, sometimes I snuggle pray. It’s all prayer.

He's right. It's all prayer. My favorite prayer is the Cosmic Woof of Love Prayer. Second is the Happiness Dance Prayer.

I am Traumatized. Again.

Mom says I got Too Fragrant. So I had to Get A Bath. It was Horrible.

First off, I had to wear The Muzzle:Then I Got Drenched:
Then I Got Dried:

Then I got Wrapped in a Blanket warmed in the Dryer:

I Feel Slightly Better Now.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Happy Birthday to Mom!

Tomorrow is my mom's Birthday and so I have saved up all my money to buy her a Present, what I think she will Like Best. And if she doesn't want it I can have it!

(Dad had to help because I don't Have Any Posables)
Here is a Picture of it:
Gravy Is Love.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Laika, the Brave Brave Dog.

Laika was a Brave, Brave Dog.
They sent her into Space.
They didn't want to Bring Her Back
And so they Left her There.

I know that she was Not Alone
That God was Up There With Her
He towed her Spacecraft to his Throne
and now they Sit Together.